


a token of our love

by n7punk



Series: Outside of the War - She-ra canon stories [26]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26485348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk
Summary: Catra has to learn a lot about Bright Moon customs quickly if she is going to be Glimmer’s Royal Advisor, but one aspect of it sticks out from the rest. Ever since she has learned of the tokens couples exchange, she can’t stop thinking about them. She can’t stop thinking about she has nothing to give.(Or, about Adora’s pin from the future vision).
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Outside of the War - She-ra canon stories [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793227
Comments: 26
Kudos: 445





	a token of our love

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn’t know, it is canonical information that couples exchange a token to show their commitment to each other. The crew did this as a visual cue in case they could not be explicit about the LGBT relationships in the show, but I find it super cute, so I expanded on it with my own lore.  
> Catra was wearing Adora’s pin the future vision. Adora was thinking about them being basically married before Catra said I Love You. That is all.

Now that Catra is advising Glimmer, she is suddenly required to learn the things about Etheria’s – and specifically Bright Moon’s – culture that are relevant to daily life but not important in warfare. There are traditions, courtesies, and just plain _words_ to learn. Catra knows the basics of society, she is not an _idiot_ , but there are things the Horde never deemed important to know about the enemy you were fighting, and that Catra has not discovered herself since she started gaining some freedoms.

She learned about birthdays shortly after she was made force captain and she began interacting with Etherian society – even if it was with the intention of destroying it. She still doesn’t know what hers is. She gained access to her personal file when she became Hordak’s Second, but all it had was the date she arrived in the Horde, the name of the battle she was found in the wake of destruction from, and an approximation of being three and a half years old at the time. Even knowing there is a day most Etherians celebrate, Catra still has nothing to _celebrate_.

Birthdays are just one thing among dozens of others – marriages, grandparents, anniversaries – that she has discovered on her own. Despite what she learns, there is always _more_. Adora helps her and Glimmer put together a list of the things the Horde never taught them about that Adora has discovered since arriving in Bright Moon, either through accident or her own research. There is even more that Glimmer adds onto the pile when she asks Catra questions and Catra blinks back at her blankly. Catra breaks the list they make into categories, just to make it easier to prioritize. The traditions are all new to her. Glimmer stresses importance on some of them as critical for her to learn, but some Catra latches her own importance onto.

“Oh! You _need_ to be able to identify when someone is committed. Not that you will be flirting with anyone,” Glimmer tells her, sending her a playful side-eye, “but it is an important for you to be able to pick up on.”

“I already know about the rings,” Catra answers her, ready to shove aside that concern. Anything to shorten the list. Despite her dismissal, Glimmer shakes her head.

“Rings show you are married. Making a commitment as a couple can happen when you get engaged, but sometimes couples do it without getting married,” Glimmer explains. Catra pauses, head tilting as she sends Glimmer a questioning look. Glimmer sighs. “I’m not explaining it well, but it _is_ important,” she concedes.

She was not explaining it well at all, it turns out. The _commitment_ is an exchange of tokens, Catra learns, as a visible way to show your dedication to your partner. Couples only do it when they know they are in it for the long haul. Some couples never get engaged or married at all, content in their exchange of tokens and commitment. 

Catra does not know why, but she latches onto the idea amongst all the traditions she learns. Maybe she just keeps an extra eye on anything related to couples, _in case_. Maybe Catra is just sentimental. She has always been like that, clinging to moments, phrases, _promises_ and sinking her claws in when someone tries to take them from her. The idea is to exchange something to wear proudly to represent your partner. That _works_ for Catra, that sentimentality of trusting your love with something of yours and using your own token to _mark_ them as yours.

If only Catra had a single physical possession important to her. Only one thing has always been important to her, and that is Adora. They did not _get_ physical possessions as cadets in the Horde. Catra had her mask, but it is long gone in the bowels of Prime’s ship, likely tangled in leaves and branches. 

Many people choose what their tokens will be before they become adults. Neither of them have that option. Adora has had three years to acquire things, though, and while Catra does not know _for sure_ what Adora would give her if she was inclined to – Catra cannot reciprocate either way. It makes a bitter taste bloom in her mouth as she abandons the meditation attempt she had started _hoping_ to distract herself from the spiraling path Glimmer had sent her on. Melog mews with concern and comes to rest their head in her lap, looking up at her hopefully.

“It’s only been a few months, anyway,” she reasons aloud to them, reaching down to pet their head. Melog gives off a thoroughly unconvinced air. It is not convincing to even herself and they both know it. Catra has been in love with Adora since she was _eight_. Their time _officially_ together does not change that Catra has known Adora was it for her for over a decade. Catra huffs. “I _want_ to, okay? But I can’t. And she hasn’t said anything anyway,” Catra gives in.

 _Adora loves you_. Yeah, she knows. But Catra can tell this is important. Glimmer said couples usually wait at least a year or two. They are still finding their footing in some aspects of their relationship. Following a dumb Bright Moon tradition to promise themselves to each other after three months does not even make sense. Catra does not know why she is fixating on this.

Melog mews in her lap. _Honesty_. Catra kind of wants to glare at them, but she bends over to hug their head instead as a gentle purr rumbles between them. “Because I love her, and I know she loves me, but I still don’t know _why_ , and I’m- still afraid, sometimes, that she will change her mind,” Catra admits. Melog trills, proud and happy, and Catra sighs against them.

Also, she _really_ likes the idea of marking Adora as hers – of Adora wanting her so badly she wants the entire world to see it -but she doesn’t say that aloud. Melog knows, anyway. They are _working_ on their jealousy, but said work is still _in-progress_ , especially when Catra nearly trips over herself in her excitement to get Adora alone whenever she expresses said jealousy.

\--

After her talk – or therapy session, depending how you look at it – with Melog, Catra is able to let the tokens thing go, a little bit. She still notices them on every couple she meets with them – she finally understands why Spinnerella wears a necklace that is so clearly not her style all the time – and sometimes she finds herself scanning crowds for marks that seem _off_ or _obvious_ , but she stops worrying about what hers would be. About if Adora would even want to give her one.

Adora loves her, and that is all she has ever wanted. Neither of them grew up with this concept – just because Catra has latched onto it does not mean Adora has. She might not even consider it important. She might not think it is important to _Catra_.

That thought hits Catra with sudden realization when she has it. It has been five months, and maybe a part of Catra will always be convinced she is not enough and Adora will one day see it, but that part of her is getting smaller with every day. She is assured of Adora’s love, even if she does not quite understand yet why she has it. She is starting too, though. Starting to understand Adora chose her in exactly the same way she had chosen Adora – not at all. They just grew into each other in an inextricable way, gaps left in their hearts when they were pulled apart. They both learned to be their own people in their time alone, but those old pathways were still _there_ , a rhythm they fell back into like breathing.

Adora has always been Catra’s whole world. She has a life now, they both do, both separate and intertwined, but nothing will ever be as important to her as Adora is, and she wants Adora to _know_ that. She still has nothing to give her, but she can _talk_ to her at least. They try to do that, now.

Catra returns from a day of advising and revelations and calmly changes for bed as she waits for Adora to make her way back to their room. She missed dinner, a visit to Dryl running long, but she called and promised to be home before it got too late. Catra slips into their bed to wait, laying on the side that is supposedly Adora’s for all that Catra sleeps on top of her there. She curls herself into the ghost of Adora’s presence, burying her nose in the pillow and inhaling her girlfriend’s scent deeply, feeling the way it instantly soothes her.

She never wants to lose this. She wants to _show_ her. She can’t. She has nothing to give.

Melog warns her when Adora is finally approaching. Melog has learned to attune to magic more easily since coming with her to Etheria, and they can detect She-ra now sometimes before Adora’s scent can hit Catra, especially when she is upwind or there are walls in the way.

Catra considers uncurling from Adora’s space, but she doesn’t. She does not move in the slightest as Adora opens the door and stumbles into the room in the low light. Catra turned all but one light off before she went to bed, leaving one knowing Adora would need _something_ to navigate by with her dumb human vision.

Adora hesitates by the door. “Catra?” she calls, whisper soft. Catra releases a soft sound of acknowledgement into the sheets. She is not up to words that are not the ones she is still trying to figure out how to _say_. The sound is enough. Adora is moving, crossing the room in quick strides, and Catra quickly realizes her mistake.

“I’m fine, Adora. Just waiting for you,” she mumbles, turning her head out from the pillow to speak. Adora hesitates again, pausing halfway to the bed. Catra rolls her eyes to herself. “Get changed. You aren’t tracking robot oil or whatever else you picked up from Entrapta into here,” she tells her. Adora seems to relax, finally, nodding to her before she heads off to their closet.

She changes, ducking into the bathroom before returning, and raises a questioning eyebrow at Catra when she reaches the bed. “Am I going to get my spot back?” she asks, but she sounds _fond_. Catra blinks up at her, uncurling a little-

And then stops. She smiles up at Adora. “You going to make me?” she asks, tone a bit challenging despite the sleep contained within it from effectively dozing for the last hour while she waited for her girlfriend. Adora smirks at her, leaning down and picking her up easily, dropping Catra back on her side as she releases a _squeak_ of surprise. The grin Adora gives her is shit-eating as she climbs over her to reach the warm spot Catra spent so much _time_ working on.

Catra huffs, but she lets Adora settle in, because they both know what Catra is going to do next. The moment Adora is laid out on her back, Catra crawls on top of her, draping herself over her girlfriend’s chest with a satisfied purr.

“Wanted you home. Wanted to do this,” Catra tells Adora through a yawn, finishing it off by nuzzling under Adora’s jaw and leaving a long mark there. Adora gives a soft breath at the words, her arms coming up to cradle Catra.

“I’m here. I’m home,” she says. Catra shudders at the words, at the _implication_ between them of just what _home_ is. The sentiment is enough to propel her forward, even if she is not sure yet what to _say_.

“Adora? You know Spinnerella and Netossa’s necklaces?” Catra asks, still buried in Adora’s neck, safe in her scent and safe from her _eyes_. She doesn’t want to see how Adora reacts to this. She feels Adora pause beneath her.

“Their tokens?” she replies, a little confused and a little _uncertain_. Catra nods into her neck. She doesn’t say anything more, _waiting_ , hoping Adora will understand the prompt. She thinks Adora _does_ , she can feel hesitation gathering beneath her skin, but Adora says nothing more.

Catra forces herself to speak again. “Would you want to do something like that? One day? I know we didn’t grow up with it. I didn’t know if you cared,” Catra gives up, open and honest for all that she is hiding in Adora’s neck. _Vulnerable_. Telling Adora the truth and trusting she will treat it well. She has been learning to do this over the past five months, but it has always been easiest with Adora, to give herself over and trust she won’t hurt her – she will _protect_ her. That thought used to make her snarl in anger. Now, she just nudges closer as she feels Adora’s breath catch.

“I- I _do_. But if you don’t, I get it. It is a little possessive,” Adora answers, voice cautious as she lightly runs her hands down Catra’s back, soothingly petting her.

How Catra fell in love with an _utter moron_ , she doesn’t know, nor why Adora’s hesitance makes her chest clench and her breath catch. “Possessive is kind of my whole _thing_ , Adora. I _want_ to,” Catra tells her. She feels a wave of relief – she feels a wave of sadness. Adora wants to, she has thought about it, she did not mention it because she was unsure if Catra would want it – but Catra still has _nothing to give her_.

“I hear a _but_ ,” Adora points out, a bit nervously. Catra screws up her face for all that Adora cannot see it, trying to suppress her reaction. It doesn’t help that Adora can feel her doing it against the side of her neck. “Catra? We don’t have to talk about now, but you did bring it up,” Adora adds, placating and cautious. Catra sighs.

“I don’t have anything I could give you,” she whispers against Adora’s neck, feeling herself tense as she waits for her response.

Adora is silent for a moment, and then her shoulders _shake_. Catra bolts up in a _panic_ , eyes wide as she stares down at her girlfriend to find her-

Clearly suppressing laughter. Not upset, not crying. Catra blinks down at her in surprise as Adora sends her a smirk in response, raising both her hands to frame Catra’s face. Catra leans into the touch but looks down at her, questioning. Now her momentary panic has faded, she is kind of _annoyed_. This is serious to her, and Adora is laughing at her for it.

“So, we’re idiots,” Adora tells her, amusement still evident. For some reason, Catra relaxes against her. She does not know why they turned the word _idiot_ into code for _I just had a realization about us_ , but it no doubt comes from Catra’s stupid sentimentality, latching onto any little thing Adora would give her and re-using, misusing, _abusing_ it.

“Adora?” she questions, softly, waiting for the explanation still. Adora doesn’t answer her verbally, just shaking her head and tugging Catra a little closer.

“Kiss me. Then I’ll explain,” Adora tells her, eyes already half-lidded as she draws Catra in. Catra decides to assume the _realization_ was an important one and leans in, kissing her with firm purpose and assurance. A golden glow flashes on the other side of her eyelids and Catra realizes just what Adora is doing.

Catra pulls back from the kiss, blinking down at She-ra, laying amongst their sheets in full armour, although free from the sword. She flushes, determinedly locking her gaze on Adora’s face.

“Well?” she asks, just a little flustered as her tail lashes behind her. Adora grins at her, reaching down and taking Catra’s hand in her own. She guides it up to her face, laying her hand over Catra’s so she can guide it to stroke down the side of her face, fingers sliding against the cool metal of the headpiece.

“So, I know tokens are supposed to be given, but I kind of _took something_ , um, before,” Adora says, locking those intense blue eyes with hers. Catra feels her eyes widen as she lifts her hand to stroke over the metal of the mask - her mask - on her own this time. Adora’s hand falls away, her girlfriend humming softly in contentment as she lets Catra have her goddamn revelation.

“We- we weren’t even _anything_ yet,” Catra protests, weakly, breathless from her bursting love for the woman beneath her.

Adora flushes, but she does not break eye contact as she replies. “We were _always_ something, Catra,” she tells her, voice soft.

There are tears in Catra’s eyes, she realizes, but she doesn’t need to hide them, not with Adora. She leans forward, kissing her with all the desperate love rioting in her chest. Adora meets her just as readily, magic sparking between their lips and causing Catra’s fur stand on end. It is too much, tonight, after dealing with all these _emotions_. She pulls back, turning her face away to bury it in Adora’s scent clinging to the pillow beside her.

“It’s too much, tonight. The magic. Change back,” she manages, screwing her eyes shut and waiting. A bright flash greets her, and her girlfriend returns to her usual warm presence. Catra breathes a sigh of relief, pulling back to survey Adora. Adora looks nervous now, clearly worried she went too far. Catra rolls her eyes.

“I’ve kind of been worrying about what I could give you since Glimmer told me about the whole thing,” Catra assures her, leaning forward to drape across her. She feels Adora let out a sigh of relief.

“I just- wanted to be sure. You said _one day_. I wasn’t sure if it was too much, now,” Adora tells her, arms coming up to cradle her. Catra snorts.

“I said _one day_ for you, Adora. I thought I had made myself clear on my stance on _always_ – and how I feel about _marking_ ,” Catra tells her. Adora flushes.

“Noted,” she replies, a bit flustered.

\--

Six months in, and waking up like this should not still feel novel and exciting, but it always is. Adora is curled around her back today, arms tight around her waist and pressing light kisses along the length of her shoulders and the side of her neck. Catra purrs softly, stretching each of her limbs out slowly.

“Good morning,” Adora mumbles against the fur on her shoulder blade without even pausing her trail of kisses. Catra reaches back for her blindly, hand landing somewhere on her girlfriend’s shoulder and squeezing in appreciation for the muscles there.

“Mm, how long have you been doing that?” Catra questions around a yawn, voice rough from sleep. Adora stretches up to trail her kisses along the side of Catra’s jaw now.

“Dunno. A few minutes, probably,” Adora mumbles, humming softly to her as she nips lightly at the side of Catra’s neck. “Just wanted to kiss you,” she adds. Well. Catra certainly cannot resist _that_. She flips over, turning in Adora’s arms so she can face her and grin at her girlfriend.

“By my count, you haven’t yet, princess,” she challenges. Adora falls for it immediately – although she has no reason to _resist_ – her gaze dropping to Catra’s lips before she presses forward to kiss her long and slow. Catra meets her eagerly. Adora gasps, ever so slightly, against her lips, and Catra wants to get _used_ to this. Used to waking up every morning bathed in golden light, tangled in soft sheets and in the strong arms of the one person she has always loved, always wanted, no matter what. She wants this to be her _normal_ , forever and always.

Fuck, she is cheesy first thing in the morning. “I love you,” she mumbles into the next kiss, because it is less revealing than what she is _actually_ thinking, and the sentiment is the same. Adora releases a soft, happy sound against her lips.

“I love you too,” she returns, voice breathy and happy as she pulls back and gazes at Catra with blatant love. “Actually, I wanted to do something today? I know you have your meeting with Glimmer, but I already asked and she can let you go afterwards. I wanted to go out to that spot in the Whispering Woods we found on our last sweep,” Adora tells her. Catra pauses, frowning.

“The clearing?” she asks, even though she _knows_ that must be it, but she can’t imagine why Adora would want to go there particularly unless she actually wants to follow through on Catra’s joke about it being the perfect spot of a vacation home. Adora just nods, open and eager. Catra feels herself flush in the face of Adora’s excitement. “I- Alright. As soon as our meeting is done, I can slip away,” Catra promises her. Adora lets out a small cheer, reaching out to haul her into another long kiss.

\--

They go to the Whispering Woods often. It started as scouting trips because the woods had changed so much after the burst of magic, and then they kept it up as a place where they could spend time together away from anyone else, but now the place is just _theirs_. Slowly, they are replacing the memories of every time they fought here, every tree Catra felled, with the two of them laughing as Adora drags her by the hand through the trees.

They found a clearing right by the edge of the woods last time they came. It is new, a piece of the woods neither of them have ever seen, shifted out from deep within it or perhaps newly formed. The woods have been changing a lot in the last few months, even if the homes and settlements among the trees have remained stable. Adora says the woods know, and they care for everyone who lives in harmony within them. Catra calls her crazy for talking to trees.

“It’s not _talking_ , it is just… a feeling I get, I guess. The same one that helps me navigate around. The woods are very magical. They like She-ra – they guarded her sword for all those years we were in Despondos,” Adora explains, waving her hand and clearly uncertain of her own words. Catra decides to just accept them. It makes sense, in an Adora-magic-bullshit way, so she usually just lets Adora lead them out whenever it is time for them to go.

It was while they were leaving recently that they found the clearing where Adora takes them now. It is still there, easy to find despite being well-hidden before its sudden appearance. It is large, a grass field with enough room to land Darla, although some of the tree canopy stretches above it and would make that difficult. There is still plenty of sun, a small pond near the very edge, and soft grass to lay out on.

“I stand by this being a great spot to build something. I don’t think the woods would have put it this close to Bright Moon if that was not its intention,” Catra says as they enter the clearing. She is not sure, really, how _sentient_ the woods are, but they seem to be capable of feeling, at least.

They really are close to Bright Moon. If they took a few steps back they would be able to see the castle through the trees. It is just enough privacy while being close. Surprisingly, Adora flushes at her words. Maybe not at her words? It is pretty warm for her to be wearing her jacket today, but after some hesitance in their closet she had pulled it and her old waistbelt on, fastening it with her pin.

“I think you’re right,” Adora agrees, voice just a little _high_. Catra narrows her eyes at her as Adora leads them to a sunny spot in the clearing, Adora settling just outside the edge of it in the shade so Catra can lay out beside her in the warmth of the sun. Catra hums her appreciation as she stretches out in the grass, pillowing her head on Adora’s lap.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re being weird?” Catra asks, nuzzling into Adora’s thigh a little and sighing with contentment as the sun warms her body. Adora makes an indignant noise.

“I am not being _weird_ , I’m-“ Adora cuts off when Melog butts their head into her arm. Adora blinks down at them and Melog blinks back, unimpressed. Catra didn’t even ask them to _do it_. Melog has been opening up more as time has gone on, but she finds herself purring in satisfaction at their initiative. Melog flicks an ear in acknowledgement, proud of earning _Catra’s_ pride, and curls up in the shade by Adora’s side.

“Give me a minute to figure out how to word it?” Adora tries, instead. Catra turns to narrow her eyes up at Adora. Her girlfriend flushes in response, blinking down at her. Catra flicks an ear, conceding to give her a moment, and Adora lets out a sigh of relief. She reaches down, stroking a hand through Catra’s hair as she thinks.

Catra cut it the night before. It has been six months since the end of the war, and despite how Catra would like the mane that was taken from her by force back, she does not have her mask to keep her hair out of her face anymore. She trimmed her bangs, beating them back to the length they had been when Adora first rescued her. It made it easier to see, and she is pretty sure now she is going to continue trimming them. It helps her hair be a bit lighter, at least.

Adora’s hand stills in her hair, and she finally speaks up. “Remember two weeks ago, when you asked me about tokens, and I showed you She-ra’s mask?” Adora asks. Catra blinks at her in surprise. They start a lot of conversations with _remember_ , but those conversations are usually about something that happened during the war or before it. Catra slowly nods. Adora’s hand falls away from her now, fidgeting with the belt at her waist.

“Even before, I thought about what I might give you and you might give me. Not a lot, I mean I was in deep denial just to get through the day then, but - it occurred to me. That’s why She-ra ended up with your mask. I realized then it was really the only thing you had to give,” Adora explains, watching her own fingers as she fidgets. She is waiting for a response, clearly, but Catra does not have much of one.

“When I first heard of the tokens, I thought about my mask too. You would look weird really wearing it though. I like to see your face,” she settles on saying. Adora flushes, looking up to make eye contact with her and making an exaggerated show of rolling her eyes before her gaze drops again. She takes a deep, steadying breath.

“And I thought about what I could give you,” she adds, finally pulling her hands away from where she is fidgeting, reaching for Catra’s own. Catra assumes she is going to hold her hand, but instead Adora places something in it, looking at her with wide eyes. “I understand if you don’t want to wear it yet, or not all the time, but I want you to have it,” Adora tells her, voice soft and hopeful.

Catra can feel tears in her eyes as she lifts her head and blinks down at the golden pin in her hand, now pulled off of Adora’s belt. Catra stares at it, giving in to the tears threatening to spill if only to release her emotions before they make her hands shake.

She can feel Adora trying not to panic above her. With unsteady hands, she brings the pin to her waist and fastens it on her own belt. “I want to. I want to wear it every fucking day,” she manages, voice unsteady, still staring at the golden glint on her hip.

Adora releases a relieved sound approaching a sob and throws her arms around her, hauling her up and close against her. They are both crying, Catra realizes, but she does not fight the wave of emotions rolling through her as she just clings back at Adora.

“I love you. I want this. Always,” Adora chokes out, turning her head to press kisses to the side of Catra’s face. If Catra was not crying so damn hard, she would be able to reply. Adora barrels on ahead anyway. Catra’s reaction says enough. “The last few months have been the happiest of my life. I can’t live without you again, not now that I know what it is like to _be_ with you,” she breathes, tears still spilling, but sobs retreated as she presses soft kisses into Catra’s hair now.

“I love you too. I _want_ this too,” Catra manages to gasp out, leaning up into the touch. Adora just holds her closer, kissing her through it as Catra shakes.

It is so _much_ , but only in the best way possible. It is the confirmation of everything she has thought, she has felt, knowing Adora loves her just the same. Knowing that _everyone_ will be able to see that Adora loves her just the same. Knowing Adora is hers and she is Adora’s.

Knowing that she trusted her heart to the right girl when she was eight, and scared, and alone except for one shining light in the middle of a warzone. It took them awhile to get there, to get _here_ , but as they cry with happiness in each other’s arms, Catra knows every fucking mistake she made was worth it if it led her to this moment.

**Author's Note:**

> hmmm Adora never explained why she was being so weird about the clearing really..... wonder if that could be its own fic...........


End file.
